Imagine a spherical cow

raw Broccoli. arch nemesis. I deviate from the ordinary when I express my sentiments about broccoli. oh my sweet Brassica Oleracea, how I've loyally defended your cruciferous namesake, with your jutting sprouts and thick external membrane I've given you the love and appreciation that you rightly deserve. I've normally considered brocco-repulsion to be completely unwarranted, and to commit such treason, one should face the punishment of flagellation by dino kale. Alas, now that I've started to dance the enzymatic conscious jig, I've realized what distaste I have for this vegetable in its raw state. I've refused to consent to oral intercourse with broccoli as long as it tastes the way it tastes, but there is hardly a thing I can do to alter its flavor into something more palatable. I can't overlook its nutritive content and phtyochemical properties, for that alone keeps me returning back, is that so shallow of me, to use broccoli for its advantageous health benefits??? I always try to mute out my taste buds when I know of its inevitable involvement in my diet. Raw broccoli has a flavor that rivals...bleach. UGH, I swear it's grown in a vat of chlorine, or secretly harvested in the pools at every YMCA across the nation! To think of even eating it makes me want to expel my viscera and commit hari-kari with an organic celery stalk( despite celery's turgor, I don't believe that it is any match for my chisled, michaelangelo-like scultpured trunk).
Frakin amazing example of mother nature's talent- romanesco broccoli. Still wouldn't eat it raw, but that's because I would be too mesmerized by its fractals! And just because you're beautiful, it doesn't always mean you'll taste any better. :P