Today was extremely difficult for me. It loomed over me for the past days, this impending act of violating my ethics. Today was dissection day. Despite being archaic and degenerative, dissection of animals is no longer necessary with the amount of alternative learning opportunities available now. It was horrid.the scent of formaldehyde pierced and pervaded my clothing with that unmistakable reek of death. Why is everyone so desensitized to animal exploitation in this era? No one was able to parallel my repulsion and morbid sorrow, people were able to crack jokes and give out only the speciest pity that has been ingrained in them. "oh, poor cat" yeah, you think the cat willingly donated his body so that college students could mangle his wretched corpse and disturb his soul? There is no one to mourn for these cats, no one was as visibly upset as I, and I believe that nearly everyone will leave the lab and not think twice about their direct participation in this inhumanity. Oh I seek repentance and absolution from bearing witness to these crimes. And yet I am the one who feels guilty for leaving my lab partner alone to slice for herself. Why am I the only one who seems concerned about the treatment and usage of animals?! I also feel guilty about the fact that what am I even doing to prevent this from happening further? Shouldn't I protest, send out mass emails educating people on dissections, speak to the head of the school about alternatives? I am the lone ranger, so solo in my sentiments, perhaps it is that very fear that prevents me from obtaining justice and solace for my furry friends. I feel weak for crying, for unveiling my heart, just as the skin was ripped away from those limp, soggy cats. Why should I be the only one affected to this extent? I cannot swallow my emotions or my tears, in fact it shows that I at least maintain my compassion . My professor took pity at my welling eyes and blatant disapproval. She allowed me to escape, for now. And I meandered back to the dorm choking back my lubricated distress and entombed myself in the closet. The engulfing shadows consumed me with an almost lullabiotic tranquility. Lain raw against the floor, carpeted friction beneath my exposed flesh. I lamented about the cruelty of the world, one which has been destroyed by omnivores, and must be mitigated by vegans. The taste on my tongue is of disdain, the acidic contents of my stomach are slowing creeping up. I am overwhelmed and abused with the torment of suffering. I must crusade. People think that we don't understand animals, but how are their cries, pleas, and vocal displays of their emotions be misinterpreted as insignificant. We understand them, when they are in pain, upset, angry, happy, calm. Why do we ignore them and further separate ourselves, why do we try so hard to avoid any sort of primal comparison? They are sentient beings, and we have become megalomaniac speciests who are such blatant denial about our fellow animals. We don't even consider ourselves animals and yet that is what we are, we are no different from them? They are so intelligent, and yet we abuse them and exploit them out of fear. Fear that they are so similar to us that we feel threatened and must keep things in divided order. I am in weak spirits lately, if this school excels at one thing, it is the ability to violate my ethical code. I am numb, and wet, and the bending branch of the willow tree-weeping in sorrow and in mournment. I am the remnants of the ice blizzard, crystals disappearing and melting. I never allow anyone to see me cry, I always try to repress it, no matter how detrimental that is to my external and internal stability. so very raw, the human condition exposed. Why does everyone make an excuse for it? why does everyone accept it and not question it ? I noticed an astounding amount of indifference, nonchalance, complacency. where do the wild cats go when they have no home to graze? Lifted and uprooted from a possible saving grace? balanced in limbo and punished for no wrong, the others will forget you, but in my heart you will remain strong. I just want to be consoled, boldly go where no one goes, seek forgiveness and fill my empty heart with some love,
so flavorless, greasy lumps of vapid coal slid down my esophagus.
you don't need to be a veg*an to oppose dissection, just a regular person with basic emotions.
