Thursday, February 11, 2010

UGHHH. sickened thirst sickened thirst! I am continuing my raw-ish streak. will do well to pass by nuts from now on and glare at them with disdain.( those pricks aren't even raw, they're steamed to get out of the shell, I couldn't resist though, brazil nuts tickle my sternum) They make me queasy, but I might have had a MEGAsupercabra overload of fat in the previous episode of uncontrollable and ravenous hunger. I had such an intense craving for fat; I had only consumed the fruit portion today and I wanted nothing more than to sink my teeth into those creamy avocados. If only you were ripe, I would have avoided all of this. I will you to ripen, I WILL YOU. If only I had the power to manipulate ethelyne gas. I was on a high, feeling groovy except for the gnawing hunger. The nuts did not satiate :@ Would rather take the empty, bottomless stomach than this...napping off... had but 4 winks of sleep (1 wink = 1 hour) due to anatomy dedication (the class, not with a person :P) I much prefer the no nuts approach to raw foodism, why didn't I pick you hemp seeds, why weren't you organiccccc?!!!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Today was extremely difficult for me. It loomed over me for the past days, this impending act of violating my ethics. Today was dissection day. Despite being archaic and degenerative, dissection of animals is no longer necessary with the amount of alternative learning opportunities available now. It was horrid.the scent of formaldehyde pierced and pervaded my clothing with that unmistakable reek of death. Why is everyone so desensitized to animal exploitation in this era? No one was able to parallel my repulsion and morbid sorrow, people were able to crack jokes and give out only the speciest pity that has been ingrained in them. "oh, poor cat" yeah, you think the cat willingly donated his body so that college students could mangle his wretched corpse and disturb his soul? There is no one to mourn for these cats, no one was as visibly upset as I, and I believe that nearly everyone will leave the lab and not think twice about their direct participation in this inhumanity. Oh I seek repentance and absolution from bearing witness to these crimes. And yet I am the one who feels guilty for leaving my lab partner alone to slice for herself. Why am I the only one who seems concerned about the treatment and usage of animals?! I also feel guilty about the fact that what am I even doing to prevent this from happening further? Shouldn't I protest, send out mass emails educating people on dissections, speak to the head of the school about alternatives? I am the lone ranger, so solo in my sentiments, perhaps it is that very fear that prevents me from obtaining justice and solace for my furry friends. I feel weak for crying, for unveiling my heart, just as the skin was ripped away from those limp, soggy cats. Why should I be the only one affected to this extent? I cannot swallow my emotions or my tears, in fact it shows that I at least maintain my compassion . My professor took pity at my welling eyes and blatant disapproval. She allowed me to escape, for now. And I meandered back to the dorm choking back my lubricated distress and entombed myself in the closet. The engulfing shadows consumed me with an almost lullabiotic tranquility. Lain raw against the floor, carpeted friction beneath my exposed flesh. I lamented about the cruelty of the world, one which has been destroyed by omnivores, and must be mitigated by vegans. The taste on my tongue is of disdain, the acidic contents of my stomach are slowing creeping up. I am overwhelmed and abused with the torment of suffering. I must crusade. People think that we don't understand animals, but how are their cries, pleas, and vocal displays of their emotions be misinterpreted as insignificant. We understand them, when they are in pain, upset, angry, happy, calm. Why do we ignore them and further separate ourselves, why do we try so hard to avoid any sort of primal comparison? They are sentient beings, and we have become megalomaniac speciests who are such blatant denial about our fellow animals. We don't even consider ourselves animals and yet that is what we are, we are no different from them? They are so intelligent, and yet we abuse them and exploit them out of fear. Fear that they are so similar to us that we feel threatened and must keep things in divided order. I am in weak spirits lately, if this school excels at one thing, it is the ability to violate my ethical code. I am numb, and wet, and the bending branch of the willow tree-weeping in sorrow and in mournment. I am the remnants of the ice blizzard, crystals disappearing and melting. I never allow anyone to see me cry, I always try to repress it, no matter how detrimental that is to my external and internal stability. so very raw, the human condition exposed. Why does everyone make an excuse for it? why does everyone accept it and not question it ? I noticed an astounding amount of indifference, nonchalance, complacency. where do the wild cats go when they have no home to graze? Lifted and uprooted from a possible saving grace? balanced in limbo and punished for no wrong, the others will forget you, but in my heart you will remain strong. I just want to be consoled, boldly go where no one goes, seek forgiveness and fill my empty heart with some love,

so flavorless, greasy lumps of vapid coal slid down my esophagus.
you don't need to be a veg*an to oppose dissection, just a regular person with basic emotions.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

raw raw rawwwks

Foiled by my internal clock. Today is a Saturday, not a Monday, not a Wednesday and not a godforsaken Thursday. On the weekend, it is an obligation(I`ve got a personal contract with Helios!) for the sun rays to cascade upon me and drag me into the depths of consciousness and reality; not an artificial alarm with some nagging, polyphonic beats that train me like one of Pavlov`s dogs. On such a day as this day, where I am permitted to continue my REM cycles completely uninterrupted, I always banzai attack with self sabotage and get a glimpse of the world, only the outer external membranes of my eyelids know. Of course, I am nearly certain about the beet root cause of this. Ces`t moi! It is actually a very natural form of self-awakening, your bladder being the operative alarm. Every night before I slip into my womb like pallet, I ingest nearly two cups of water. I`ve read about native american tribes using this to control their sleeping patterns; the excess water and unconscious body make a perfect alarm clock!nearly)Raw Food Diet Day ONE(officially, maybe).

I've been doing Charleston with raw foods the past couple of weeks, only recently integrating massive quantities of foods in their raw form ( I really need to readjust my preference in favor of raw vegetables(I can devour cooked ones like it's my day job(but if gastronomy is your profession, does that statement not hold much weight?!) Okay, maybe only massive in comparison to my previous raw intakes. I'd say it will be about 85-90% raw,allowing room for about 200kcals to come from enzymatically destroyed products ;-) I have a difficult time getting enough calories, even with the inclusion of cooked meals, nevermind raw ones! I'd reckon my normal caloric intake is around 1350kcal a day(yes, I should know better!), but for the past few months I've really only been eating one cooked meal and everything else raw. I do take Vega Complete Whole Food Health Optimizer. ( supplementation is not evidence that the vegan diet is inferior to the Standard American diet, even omnivores are at risk for certain nutritive deficiencies) word? word. The Vega accounts for half of those nonraw calories (although the product is about 30% raw) and the other may come in the form of some toasted sesame oil I need to finish up ;D. Can we start salivating at the thought of zucchini linguine with carrots, daikons, bok choy, spinach, scallions, and kale all tossed in that oil along with some coconut aminos?!?!?! please, control me. Anyway, today was my lazy Sunday, I spent most of the morning frolicking and skip dancing around in my room to the Mars Volta while nibbling on some fruits and nuts, then consensually conceding to the kracken's loom and started studying for anatomy and doing Spanish homework.
Probably had about 3/4c of nuts today :$ Someone seriously needs to keep them away from me!
They were a mix of macadamias(omg, they're so rich, they are probably like one of Zeus's gallstones), Brazil nuts, and cashews. All raw!
Then I had a banana, apple, satsumas, navel orange, and soon to be kiwi and mango...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

How to make yourself ill

My schedule. subjective envy may not apply

Monday-
Chemical Metabolism Biochemistry 9-9.50
ServSafe food- 10-12.20
Anatomy lab- 2-4
Anatomy review 4-5
work 5-8
no time for gym D:

Tuesday
Anatomy and Physiology 8-9.20
Spanish 9.30-10.50
Food, Nutrition, and Culture-11-12.20
Food Science-12.30-1.50
Spanish recitation 4-4.50
gym 8.15~9.45

Wednesday-
Chemical Met.-9-9.50
work-11-3
gym 7.30~9

Thursday
A&P
Spanish
FNC
FS
Food Science lab 2-4
Anatomy review 4.30-5.30
gym 8.15~9.45

Friday
Chem. Met 9-9.50
CM review 10-11
work 1-3
gym-4.30~6

patience ebbing

I am inclined to speak of what vexes me with every somatic muscle in my body. Just because you're a vegan doesn't mean that you have to be fond of ALL vegetable kind. I do have a sort of vegetable-philia and can easily down servings of vegetables as if they were the typical college student's shots. ( I don't imbibe anything but water, there is nothing more inane than partaking in deleterious activities). None of you jamokes better retort with " well, what do you think a raw food diet is" Hush. It's like I'm expected to worship the stalks, leaves, and seeds of every vegetable out there. Such a violation would be outright blasphemy of the sacred vegetable tenets that every vegan aspires to live by. God forbid you don't like to eat salads. Imagine a conversation such as: "hey, we're going out to *fill in the blank with the most carnivorous restaurant in town*, but I'm sure they have a salad you could eat." " wow, is that an invitation or an indication of your nonchalant complacency towards my diet" "oh come on, you eat salads don't you, don't you love them(says it in a manner as if someone were waving a doggie biscuit infront of a dog" "no you abject imbecile, salads are our last resort to eating when we are the guests of morons who show a complete lack of concern." " *ignoring the insult, wait... you don't...eat...salad?! what kind of veg*an are you?! * goes off to compare you to a tyrannical dictator who has murdered millions of people and was rumored to be vegetarian* kinda like " oh, well hitler was a vegetarian, i bet he didn't like salads either, and look at what he did..."

Actually, many omnivores show in regards to themselves; how many people think twice about suggesting a steakhouse when they have a veg*an company? How many of them want to tear their keratinaized hair follicles out and rip their sweat shop child labor produced clothes off at the thought of eating at a veg*an restaurant??! and yet they make the veg*ans feel compelled to agree to their choice out of guilt that veg*ans are so veg*an centric and demand a veg*an only place.(while going to a vegan restaurant with omnis may just be a pipe-dream, at least choose a veg*an friendly place!) This formula is the perfect equation for destruction when you are stuck with ignorant, non-progressive, narrow minded pillocks. I unfortunately used to socialize with the types of dolts I previously described. They certainly enjoyed tormenting me, especially when they invited me to a restaurant I couldn't eat at(never mind the fact that it was a disgusting chain that has ersatz food as its specialty) and then be perfectly content with the fact that I had to then watch them all eat and go hungry. The sadists. They would offer me their decaying, flaccid, microwaved vegetables on occasion. YAH Right. Thinking I would forage off of scrap display parsley and water ( and then "brilliantly" quipping " oh, is water vegan, like LOLZ I am so fucking funny.") Or masticating the grisly flesh and commenting on the flavor of animal abuse but then accuse you of burning your judgmental gaze into them. They must really fear those who live counterculture, iconoclastic lifestyles. The ones who defy and challenge conventional normalcy and have no apprehension about flirting with the atypical. Their reactions are merely guilt-induced by an opposing viewpoint that they realize is morally superior. (that sounds elitist, but I don't give a tofurkey, it is morally superior to regard animals as fellow inhabitants of the earth that we must coexist with and not exploit, torture, or murder. It is morally superior to transcend the predominant widespread misbeliefs and enlighten and rectify oneself into becoming conscious of the outer world's afflictions. It is morally superior to not eat our fellow sentient beings and to not wreak havoc and take advantage of the natural order. (of course I suppose this castigation is more geared towards the western world. it's easy to declare such a blatant sentiment when regarding the western world, for third world ideologies ethics are a bit more nebulous. The suffering of the people and animals is undeniably unequivocal.) But for those that relish and revel in the modern world, there is a duty to emancipate and unfetter those unfortunate enslaved brethren and sisteren. Are we a species that has evolved devoid of ethics, or has such commonplace convenience nurtured ignorance?! How any one can look in the eyes of a bleating cow and abstractly view her flesh as a lump of sanguine meat and accept it as dinner and not murder is beyond me??! The world has really desensitized itself to the inhumanity rapidly consuming us.
I just returned from the farmer`s market, my adipose and muscle fibers nearly solidified into a saturated icicle of cold. I feel as if I have survived the same fate that many vegetables perish under, cryogenics! There is nothing that rivals the eagerness and desire I have to attend the harvest fest in the local city atrium every Saturday. (only maybe going to the co-op^.^) It fosters conscious consumers and interaction with the actual source(farmers). Not to mention it reduces the carbon footprint and enables one to purchase an item that has less *from garden to kitchen* time; the difference in freshness is remarkably detectable(especially considering the turgor). Many people are apprehensive about shopping at farmer`s markets, perhaps they are intimidated by the overwhelming selection and kiosks, perhaps the prices deter them, perhaps establishing relationships with the seller and knowing exactly where your food is coming from is too unfamiliar. I have heard that most associate farmers markets with affordability, while I have read about such sentiments in other articles, unfortunately the farmers market in my area is quite expensive. Subsequently, this makes the majority of the cafes and restaurants more costly(considering their tiny servings as well, your tiny servings wont defeat obesity damnit! *shakes fist*)
Pretty accurate representation of their doll sized portions ;-)


It all has to do with value and worth, organic and local food always warrants attention, and there are many associations to make with these magic words. What do they possibly imply? Concern for the environment and sustainability, supporting local farmers and enabling them to continue their actions with economic viability, awareness and education on the subject( why else would someone make the conscious effort to go organic without knowledge of it), healthy lifestyle(unless you are the type who goes for the organic potato chips, in that case you better put that down( every time I think of the word down, I think of the yeah yeah yeah's down boy ;-)!) Why should you go organic? do you want to protest the man`s conventional farming that is deleterious to the environment?! Nonorganics are brimming with pesticides, herbicides, fertilizers, and all other types of toxic shit(shit being included). These chemicals can be carcinogenic and provoke many negative reactions in the body. Organic is better for the environment; the soil is less eroded(and the nutrient content is richer), it doesn't pollute the land and water supply(thereby endangering both present and future generations, and it tastes better(don't be stubborn, you know it does)! The amount of times I've heard people complain about the vapid, flavorless quality of a tomato out of season; while I laugh maniacally stroking my organic roma and savoring its lycopenic phytochemicals.

It is never more an endearing sight than seeing a bunch of people carrying their reusable grocery bags and inquiring about certain matters with the farmers. Holy shit, the men there are hot and all sorts of rugged too! That isnt the main deciding factor for my attendance, I was there before it was swamped with aesthetically pleasing paradigms of masculinity and consciousness! It certainly doesn't hinder it either though ;-) The Farmer`s Market is by far one of thee best ways to network, especially for the local cafe and restaurant owners. Green is the new black damnit, and if you want to keep up with the times, you better make sure you flash "organic" and "local" all over the eco-friendly-recycled-paper-typed-in-soy-ink-menu! While there is a difference between a fad and a trend, (trends are more long term I believe), if this is a fad, it is at least an advantageous one.
What the goulash am I doing right now?! I could be

  1. studying for anatomy--
  2. studying for biochemistry--
  3. not writing this blog
  4. reading anatomy/biochemistry
  5. skip dancing around my newly expanded room and allowing the king or al jefe to serenade me
  6. speaking to myself instead of writing to myself
  7. ejaculating with excitement over my purchases of the week!!!
Let's go with numero siete! I am all sorts of green goddess giddy about my shoppin and hoppin this weekend. I didn't write an official post, but I am really really reallllllly trying to transition to a raw foods diet! This will be prove to be complicated with budget and time constraints ( yerr it's raw= prep time being achievable, but all my classes are so back to back that I never have time to go to my dorm between them) I also feel mad awkward eating what looks like the stolen contents of senora chiquita banana's hat in front of anyone. Never mind a big salad ( while I enjoy enlightening others about the topic, keep in mind that the nutrition department here is not so open minded themselves) I really would prefer not to be embroiled by a professor with a carrot stick thick list of credentials questioning my alternative eating patterns and my sanity. Who gives a damn though right? The whole staff is hypocritical and epitomize the adage "do as I say, not as I do" If anyone knew any thing about nutrition, they would become a vegan. oh tangent, my B. Anyway, I've always been quite impulsive in my decisions when it comes to these desires. I don't plan things out, I don't spend months reading, reviewing, and making certain that I am prepared to do this. I jump into it immediately and learn as I explore. I just don't hesitate. The biggest hurdle I face is my father. After all, he does provide me with the greens (pun!!!), he accepted veganism ( only the tiniest bit of reluctance when it comes to eating out and my "paranoias") but me trying to explain raw foodism to him will be as difficult as trying to convince him to support me through college as a theater major! Not only that, but I do actually want to change my major, and obviously my college... I've never been interested in the destined fate of most nutrition students---nutritionists, you're pigeonholed there, so CONFINED. The thought of that is draining, vapid and all things gray! Sickened thirst sickened thirst!!! I've realized my interest lies in Nutritional Biochemistry! I find it so intensely fascinating from a biological-physiological-chemical level. I think studying in that field would be more beneficial and provide more opportunities to discover and heal than prescribing foods to people FOReverrRrr and ever and ever ever ever ever ever everrrrrr and have them not change and increase the obesity percentages. Hmm I'll elaborate more about the hypocritical paradox that is nutrition in this country. Back to my purchases: Oh what a lovely day it is...reverbing. If only I could upload a picture of my bounty, but alas*fawns phalanges over forehead* I left it at home! My descriptions should be enough:
  • Four mangos ( I already have two here, so that = six mangos( now how did we figure that total out all you non math majors?)
  • Six pears ( I'm not really fond of them, shhh don't tell them)
  • two pounds of satsumas!!!
  • a four lb bag of navels
  • five bananas (already had three home)
  • six apples
  • a pint of strawberries
  • a pint of blackberries
  • a bag of raspberries
  • a bag of blueberries (yarr I know the debates over the "enzymatic" quality of frozen foods)
  • kale
  • carrots- seven pounds in total ^.^ two lbs from the farmer's market and a bag of five pounds
  • two avocados (already had three at home)
  • four zucchinis
  • two daikons(and have another already)
  • spinach
  • mixed spring greens
  • raw macadamia nuts!!!
  • raw brazil nuts!!!
  • raw cashews!!!
  • dates
  • kiwis
what I have already:
  • spinach
  • mixed spring greens(will be eating massive quantities of the two so I needed to stock up!)
  • broccoli
  • rhubarb kale (omg tastes like sand dirt blergghh)
  • onions
  • scallions
  • beets
will most likely be including something cooked just until i deplete my supplies( quinoa is expensive as hell, there is no way I am wasting it or giving it away) so i may be about 70% raw until those are gone :S. I just feel so inclined to be raw, the energy it provides is unworldly. will finish post later, has overdosed on raw nuts :( Hope there is nothing toxic in them, I saw that house episode darnit!

Imagine a spherical cow

raw Broccoli. arch nemesis. I deviate from the ordinary when I express my sentiments about broccoli. oh my sweet Brassica Oleracea, how I've loyally defended your cruciferous namesake, with your jutting sprouts and thick external membrane I've given you the love and appreciation that you rightly deserve. I've normally considered brocco-repulsion to be completely unwarranted, and to commit such treason, one should face the punishment of flagellation by dino kale. Alas, now that I've started to dance the enzymatic conscious jig, I've realized what distaste I have for this vegetable in its raw state. I've refused to consent to oral intercourse with broccoli as long as it tastes the way it tastes, but there is hardly a thing I can do to alter its flavor into something more palatable. I can't overlook its nutritive content and phtyochemical properties, for that alone keeps me returning back, is that so shallow of me, to use broccoli for its advantageous health benefits??? I always try to mute out my taste buds when I know of its inevitable involvement in my diet. Raw broccoli has a flavor that rivals...bleach. UGH, I swear it's grown in a vat of chlorine, or secretly harvested in the pools at every YMCA across the nation! To think of even eating it makes me want to expel my viscera and commit hari-kari with an organic celery stalk( despite celery's turgor, I don't believe that it is any match for my chisled, michaelangelo-like scultpured trunk).
Frakin amazing example of mother nature's talent- romanesco broccoli. Still wouldn't eat it raw, but that's because I would be too mesmerized by its fractals! And just because you're beautiful, it doesn't always mean you'll taste any better. :P
Foiled by my internal clock. Today is a Saturday, not a Monday, not a Wednesday and not a godforsaken Thursday. On the weekend, it is an obligation(I`ve got a personal contract with Helios!) for the sun rays to cascade upon me and drag me into the depths of consciousness and reality; not an artificial alarm with some nagging, polyphonic beats that train me like one of Pavlov`s dogs. On such a day as this day, where I am permitted to continue my REM cycles completely uninterrupted, I always banzai attack with self sabotage and get a glimpse of the world, only the outer external membranes of my eyelids know. Of course, I am nearly certain about the beet root cause of this. Ces`t moi! It is actually a very natural form of self-awakening, your bladder being the operative alarm. Every night before I slip into my womb like pallet, I ingest nearly two cups of water. I`ve read about native american tribes using this to control their sleeping patterns; the excess water and unconscious body make a perfect alarm clock!